Dating a SINGLE Dad, Thoughts to Ponder

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I remember back in my prime, before meeting my (soon to be EX) husband saying “I will never date a man with a child”.  I meant it, if I was even remotely attracted to a man and after talking, I found out he had a child, a huge STOP sign would appear before my eyes.  Poof, just like that, no longer attractive to me.  I always figured, where there’s a child, standing closely behind is that baby’s mother.  Never wanted to deal with that.  I also did not want to be number 2 or possibly 3 in any relationship.  That was then, fast forward twelve years, one failed marriage, and three lovely children of my own later, my thoughts have changed.

When I say my thoughts have changed, I’m only suggesting this if you already have children of your own.  If you are childless and dating, I still feel a childless man would be best.  Not that it’s impossible to have a relationship with a man with children, but it’s a lot more challenging.  And if you’re the type of person who needs to be number 1, forget it.  Why would any woman want a man who puts their kids on the backburner?  If they are a good man, they are still providing for their kids, so you can forget last minute romantic getaways, expensive dinners and uninterrupted time.
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I now realize if I were to try to date a man without children, he would constantly be disappointed.  Many times both myself and the kids think they are going to be spending the night with their dad, and “something comes up”.  Usually when we have something fun planned.  A man without children would get sick and tired of this, I know I do.  Kids get sick, babysitters cancel, and I need a man who is secure knowing he’s number 4 in my life.  A man who deals with the same struggles of co-parenting or lack of co parenting. I like the fact that he already knows how to act around kids, no need to train him.  I love that when our date nights don’t go as planned, Chuckie Cheese is a perfect alternative.  Being that both of our schedules are jammed packed with children’s activities, we don’t get to spend too much time alone.  Therefore, when we do get alone time,  it is exciting and fun.  We appreciate each other and both know how hard it is to be the primary parent.  We can both talk about our kids without being annoying.  On top of all those pros, a man who is a great father is a huge turn-on.

So there you have it, the reasons you should date a man with a child.  Now please don’t take this the wrong way!  Do not date a married man with children!  (No matter how horrible his wife at home is ;))  If he doesn’t have a job, yet has a child, not a good sign.  I’m not telling you to find a man who has kids but does not support them financially and emotionally.  Because ladies, listen carefully, if he doesn’t support his children he is not a good person trust me on this one.  He certainly won’t be contributing much to you or your relationship.  There are a handful of really good single dads out there.  When you find one, grab him.  You may just find you have a lot in common.  If it gets serious, your kids can enjoy each other, and you never know you might just end up in a “Brady Bunch” type of situation.  Please share your dating experiences, the good, the bad and the funny by commenting below.
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When Co-parenting is Impossible

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I haven’t posted a personal post in a while. There’s a reason for that because my life through no fault of my own is getting pretty ugly. I am an eternal optimist and try for the most part to keep upbeat. As some of you may know, I am going through a divorce after a twelve year marriage. The reason we split, Ex-Hole’s infidelity. Horrible right? Not so much. Through all of this (him and the mistress moving into my house, leaving me and our three kids knocking on my grandmother’s door for shelter, him and her having me arrested, him paying absolutely NO child support) I have realized I’m so much better off. I have learned to love myself, I’m in a great relationship and am just trying to keep my head above water. BUT…
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Durex Sexplorers | Crowdtap Sample and Share (R rated)

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Recently, I was chosen to be a Durex Sexplorer, thanks to Crowdtap. Durexis committed to bringing couples together. My sampling package included a wide range of Durex products that inspired me to “sexplore” new possibilities. What is a”Sexplorer”? A “Sexplorer” values their partner’s pleasure as much as their own to help them both achieve their ideal sex life. You’re also ready and willing to talk to your close friends about your personal sexual experiences. Sign up HEREif you would like to become a “Sexplorer”.

We all know sex, or lack of sex, can make or break any relationship. Before children, sex is spontaneous, fun, erotic, and exciting. Personally, I don’t remember at any point in my life, (before children) being too tired for sex. Possibly after a sex marathon, but not to the point of turning it down. When two people are tuned into each others needs, and are having great sex, what could possibly change that? I’ll tell you what, kids! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, stop reading now.

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What I’ve Learned in the Past Six Months|Moving On

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What I have learned in the past 6 months of seperation.  Trust your gut, it never lies.  Stay true to yourself, and your beliefs.  If someone wants to change you, it’s probably them that need the  changing.  Learn to let go.  When all else fails, pray.  Ask for help.  Blood is thicker than water.  Beware of fair weather friends.  People show their true colors when a crisis hits, a good esy to weed out the users and fakes.  Don’t break the law, (even if it’s justified) unless you want to go to jail and be in court for the rest of your life.  Don’t count on anyone else to make your dreams a reality.  While your busy making theirs come true, yours will collect dust.  You can’t change people, you can only change yourself.  A miserable person is incapable of being happy, they will just drag you and anyone else they’re with down.  You’re only as good as the company you keep.  Bad things happen to good people.  It’s how you play the hand you’re delt.  Life is short, how you treat people everyday counts.  You will only get what you give.  Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  Kids are like their parents, behave the way you want them to behave (even when they’re not looking)  It ALWAYS could be worse.  It ALWAYS could be better.  Wear lipstick.  Be greatful.  Learn to let go. If someone is accusing you of crazy things, they’re probably the guilty party.  There are other fish in the sea, lots! I deserve love, truth, and respect.   Focusing on myself is not selfish, it’s a nessessity.  I am much stronger then I ever believed.  Progress not perfection. Hug, kiss, and love the people who love you EVERYDAY!  Denial is a powerful thing, acceptance is hard.  Karma is a biatch.  Kids laughter is the best medicine. DREAM BIG!

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