10 Sep 2015 1 Comment
Dear Judge Gorcyca,
You don’t know me. Not personally. But I know you. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mother.I know the profile of an abuser, and you fit that profile.
In June of 2009, U.S. Attorney General, Eric Holder, posed this question to the National Summit on the Intersection of Domestic Violence and Child Maltreatment, “Do children need a relationship with their fathers even when their fathers have been abusive to them in the past? If so, what does that relationship look like?”
I’ll tell you what it looks like, Your Honor. An abuser threatens his victim. He tells her that he’ll take his children away if she doesn’t submit. In order to break her mentally and physically, an abuser will drag out conflict oftentimes after his victim has already worked hard all day, denying her rest, knowing she’ll need to wake early to care for her children, this being the eleventh hour. Abusers thrive on conflict, violence, and abuse. It sustains them. They tell their victim to remain silent about the abuse or suffer the consequences. They isolate their victim from a supportive network of friends and family. The abuser demands love and respect, and if those demands go unmet, then the abuser will take drastic measures to ensure obedience, using their position of privilege and power to manipulate, subdue, and control.
You said you wanted something drastic to happen to fix Maya Tsimhoni’s family. You knew full well that a family torn apart by abuse could never be whole again. You knew, but you didn’t care. You saw a fat checking account, and like an abuser in the eleventh hour, you dragged out the conflict for years because litigation incurring fees of a half a million dollars or more is of greater value than justice. You thrive on that conflict. It sustains you.
You forced Maya Tsimhoni’s children to have lunch with and to maintain a loving relationship with a father whose abuse has been documented. You slammed that gavel down, and when the Tsimhoni children refused to obey, you handcuffed and imprisoned them. And like the abuser who threatens his victim with the loss of her children, you threatened Maya Tsimhoni saying that if she violated your orders, you would imprison her children again.
Abusers isolate their victims, cutting them off from supportive and loving connections like friends and family. You tore children from a loving, primary caretaker and isolated them from each other, imprisoning them all and severing their supportive network in order to break them down and ensure submission.
Silence allows abuse to thrive, and so you put a gag order in place. You also sealed Maya Tsimhoni’s response to her abuser’s motion for custody. You said you were concerned about the Tsimhoni children’s privacy, but one does not place children in handcuffs to ensure their protection. No, you needed to conceal the overreach of the family court and your abuse of power; to hide from the world the human rights violations and child abuse being carried out by those working in family courts who profit financially from abused women and children. Silence hides abuse and this allows for its continuation. I, Mother, am not fooled by your actions.
So while you don’t know me Judge Gorcyca, I know you very well. I lived with you for many years. I documented your abuse. I spoke out against your abuse. I protected my children. I fought you for custody. I know your strategy.
I am Mother. I am the 58,000 women a year who have faced your courtroom bias. I am the protective parent fighting for my children. I am the activist effecting legislative change and educating others. And though you steal my voice with your gag order, know that where I am silenced thousands more speak in my place.
We are many. We are united.
And justice will prevail.
If you would like to educate yourself about the Tsimhoni Case, here are the last five years of court documents: Tsimhoni Case (Chronological Order)
If you would like to read the most recent horrific court order issued by Judge Gorcyca: Click Here
20 Jun 2015 Leave a comment
Today I went to a tattoo artist, and for $60 I let a man with a giant Jesus-tattoo on his head ink a semi-colon onto my wrist where it will stay until the day I die. By now, enough people have started asking questions that it made sense for me to start talking, and talking about things that aren’t particularly easy.
We’ll start here: a semi-colon is a place in a sentence where the author has the decision to stop with a period, but chooses not to. A semi-colon is a reminder to pause and then keep going.
In April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. By the beginning of May I was popping anti-depressents every morning with a breakfast I could barely stomach. In June, I had to leave a job I’d wanted since I first set foot on this campus as an incoming freshmen because of my mental…
View original post 1,331 more words
08 Jan 2014 Leave a comment
Still asking yourself why? Here is a great description of a Narcissist’s “love”. And to “Nstress” you may want to read this one, don’t ever say I didn’t warn you. Hugs!
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my stories to, to express my opinions, and to share my profound theories and beliefs about the important things in life. I love hearing myself say these things as I imagine how they sound to you, and how enthralled with me I imagine you are.
When I say I’m in love with you, I love having someone beautiful to wear, like a new outfit. I love the way you feel on me. I love the way I feel about me when you are with me.
When I say I’m in love with you, I love not being…
View original post 215 more words
14 Oct 2013 Leave a comment
If you’re still learning about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) this is a great place to start. This is what I’m dealing with times 2 on a daily basis. I left my abusive sham of a marriage to shield my children from the abuse. Sadly now they are forced to spend more time then they’ve ever had to with him. Paying our next court date at the end of November, rules in the best interest of our children. Praying the judge will at the very least consider the documentation I have compiled over this past year and a half. What started out as me believing that a father of three should bear some financial responsibility for the three children he helped create has only allowed him to bear no responsibility but rather use them as pawns. I wish I never filed, it wasn’t until then did this sudden interest in custody begin. If I had it to do over again…
Imagine a game of Golf or other sport and having the best day of your career. You feel great, but the mental wall between confidence and fear is thin as tissue paper. Everything is riding on the next shot, and then the one after that. For narcissists the game encompasses their whole world, and it is NEVER over.
Imagine the pressure should the only meaningful goal in your life be proving that you are something more than human. A narcissist’s greatest fear is of being ordinary and thus, ignored. They are incapable of being connected to anything or anyone larger than themselves, because in their world, THERE IS NOTHING LARGER.
Beyond their frenetic attempts to prove the improvable lies only a dark, unexplored void. You might be tempted to think of them as tragic figures if they weren’t so dangerous and thoroughly obnoxious.
On one hand, narcissists may be extremely intelligent…
View original post 370 more words