The Egregious Improprieties of Judge Gorcyca of Oakland County Family Court

On June 24th, three children were taken out of Judge Lisa Gorcyca’s courtroom in handcuffs to be kept at Mandy’s Place, a detention facility for criminal and abused children. They were detained for weeks. The Judge told the children that they would be peeing in front of others, that they would be kept apart from their siblings and not able to see their mom. The Judge told them that they could expect to attend school there and incarcerated until they were 18.

Read entire story here:  The Egregious Improprieties of Judge Gorcyca of Oakland County Family Court.

Custody Battle Hell

I haven’t written in quite some time because I am living in Custody Battle Hell right now.  As many of you know I have been in the process of getting a divorce from my Narcissist Husband for over a year now.  It has been emotionally exhausting on me, but even worse on our three children.  Being married to a narcissist is tough, divorcing one is worse.

In April of 2012 him and the mistress tried to kidnap my children.  Telling me it was best for the children to only see me on the weekends.  Ha.  This is a man who has never changed a diaper, fed a child, gave a child a bath, showed up at their sports games, never helped with homework, etc.  I called the police but there was nothing they could do since there was no court ordered custody agreement.  I was allowing him to visit with the kids on Tuesdays and Sundays at the time.  So please everyone listen to me if you ever find yourself in this horrible place, DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN VISIT UNLESS THERE IS A COURT ORDERED CUSTODY AGREEMENT IN PLACE.  They brought the children back to me Friday for what XN and Nstress were calling my “visit” and here they stayed, until I could get a court date.

In May he called the children’s school telling them I live outside the school district.  (Yes I do since he moved the mistress in leaving me and our three children homeless).  The school told me if he did not have “residential custody” I would have to sign the kids out with only 7 weeks left.  He knew this would put me into a frenzy.  He knew I would not allow my children to go to school in the district I was living.  (There are gangs, drugs, you name it.)  They have already been through so much.  So I thought it was in the kids best interest to make him residential until I could get back into the district.  I never dreamed he would even want to see them 50% of the time.  MY BIGGEST MISTAKE YET.  What no one told me was that if he were residential on paper, he may not have to pay any child support.  He owns a successful business and I was a stay at home mom for the past thirteen years.  He was the sole financial provider for our family.  And that’s the way he wanted it.  So we have joint/shared custody.  Although he rarely sees them the 50% of the time if ever.  He pays for nothing for those kids.  He is trying to get me terminated from the welfare program I’m in so he can say I cannot provide for my kids.  Although at the moment I am the ONLY parent who provides anything.  Through this program my children have health insurance and baby girl’s pre-school is subsidized.  We get food stamps, the only food that feeds the children.  And we get a very little amount of cash assistance, breaks down to $20 a week per person.  I am enrolled in a work program to help me gain skills to become employable.  I intern every day from 8-3 with the hopes of becoming permanent.

We have been to mediation three times.  All three times he agrees to what the mediator suggests and then a day or two after he has his lawyer write-up that “there were no meeting of the minds”.  “His client never agreed to this that and the other”.  So now it goes in front of the judge.  I am trying my hardest to get into the school district, but it is very hard since I am not working and every dollar I do get goes to the children’s daily needs.  I need prayers positive thoughts and hope.  I am so glad to have found some great wonderful women in my shoes.  My children cry and beg not to go, they are having serious issues because of being bounced around and used as pawns in his game.  He is an abusive man, I have tried to shield the kids from him for so long.  Now they are put in harm’s way.  I never dreamed any of this would happen to us as he has had zero interest in the children our entire marriage.  But here we are, narcissists are incapable of co-parenting.  They are manipulative and cunning, I’m dealing with two of them.  They will stop at nothing to try to hurt me and the only way they can do this is through my children.

This is the same man who used to boast what an amazing mother I was to anyone who would listen.  He would say, “I could never do what she does”.  He would say the reason for his adultery was because I had too much attention for the kids and not enough for him.  It’s also the same man who has wrapped his hands around my neck many times.  Telling me he just wishes he could kill me.  A man who has broken many pieces of furniture in a rage.  A man who slaps the kids when they are simply trying to speak.  These are the reasons I left him, I wanted my children to have a chance at normalcy.  Now they are forced to spend more time with him then they had in their entire life.

If you think this problem is just mine you are sadly mistaken.  Family Courts all over the country are making decisions without a care in the world for the children involved.  NPD is real and it is dangerous.  50-50 parenting may work for two healthy parents, but is absolutely ridiculous when one of the parents is abusive.  It is not about mom vs dad but healthy parent vs sick parent.  This 50-50 deal should not be able to be used to simply get out of financial responsibility for the children.  What are your thoughts?

When Co-parenting is Impossible

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I haven’t posted a personal post in a while. There’s a reason for that because my life through no fault of my own is getting pretty ugly. I am an eternal optimist and try for the most part to keep upbeat. As some of you may know, I am going through a divorce after a twelve year marriage. The reason we split, Ex-Hole’s infidelity. Horrible right? Not so much. Through all of this (him and the mistress moving into my house, leaving me and our three kids knocking on my grandmother’s door for shelter, him and her having me arrested, him paying absolutely NO child support) I have realized I’m so much better off. I have learned to love myself, I’m in a great relationship and am just trying to keep my head above water. BUT…
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What I’ve Learned in the Past Six Months|Moving On

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What I have learned in the past 6 months of seperation.  Trust your gut, it never lies.  Stay true to yourself, and your beliefs.  If someone wants to change you, it’s probably them that need the  changing.  Learn to let go.  When all else fails, pray.  Ask for help.  Blood is thicker than water.  Beware of fair weather friends.  People show their true colors when a crisis hits, a good esy to weed out the users and fakes.  Don’t break the law, (even if it’s justified) unless you want to go to jail and be in court for the rest of your life.  Don’t count on anyone else to make your dreams a reality.  While your busy making theirs come true, yours will collect dust.  You can’t change people, you can only change yourself.  A miserable person is incapable of being happy, they will just drag you and anyone else they’re with down.  You’re only as good as the company you keep.  Bad things happen to good people.  It’s how you play the hand you’re delt.  Life is short, how you treat people everyday counts.  You will only get what you give.  Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  Kids are like their parents, behave the way you want them to behave (even when they’re not looking)  It ALWAYS could be worse.  It ALWAYS could be better.  Wear lipstick.  Be greatful.  Learn to let go. If someone is accusing you of crazy things, they’re probably the guilty party.  There are other fish in the sea, lots! I deserve love, truth, and respect.   Focusing on myself is not selfish, it’s a nessessity.  I am much stronger then I ever believed.  Progress not perfection. Hug, kiss, and love the people who love you EVERYDAY!  Denial is a powerful thing, acceptance is hard.  Karma is a biatch.  Kids laughter is the best medicine. DREAM BIG!

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